


Sono tabi ni itsumo yasashisa no imi shittanda (I’ve always understood, every time, the reason for that kindness)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Ficlet, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 06:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14688387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “I think that if you weren’t here Yuri would go completely mad, Ryo-chan.”“That’s not true. He’s stronger than the both of us put together.”“Yeah, you’re right. I, for example, would go completely mad if you weren’t here.”





	Sono tabi ni itsumo yasashisa no imi shittanda (I’ve always understood, every time, the reason for that kindness)

Yuto remembered perfectly each and every time he had seen Yuri and Ryosuke together. 

And he remembered them because he was always impressed at how they managed to close themselves up into their own world, putting the others aside, letting off the feeling that they shared something that would've been incomprehensible to anyone else.

Now, looking at Yuri, he missed Ryo even worse.

 

_“What do you want me to do? I’ll go on, somehow.”_

_“Are you sure you’re going to make it?”_

_“Do I have any other choice?”_

_“Well, I could... help you. If you want to, I mean.”_

Chinen had always been an independent guy, despite the appearances making him look like someone who wasn’t capable of being left alone.

Yuto had had a hard time opening a breach in the wall the younger had built around himself, he had had a hard time being accepted in his life, convincing him that things could’ve been different than he had thought.

And Yuri had slowly let him in, and he had let Yuto take care of him and his pain, and had let him hear him cry, night after night; and just there Nakajima had realized he was less brave than he cared to show.

 

_“I think that if you weren’t here Yuri would go completely mad, Ryo-chan.”_

_“That’s not true. He’s stronger than the both of us put together.”_

_“Yeah, you’re right. I, for example, would go completely mad if you weren’t here.”_

Yuto had never asked for anything.

He had stayed close to them during all those years, he had played the role of the uninterested friend so good that in the end he had become just that.

He managed to be close to Ryosuke without wanting to touch him, even to just have him between his arms, holding him tight to tear him away from Yuri’s hold.

It was an instinct he had killed with time, and with the awareness that it was never going to lead him anywhere.

All he had ever asked the world, quietly, careful not to be heard, was Yamada.

And now he couldn’t help but feeling guilty, because that unhealthy desire had torn the elder away from him, and had torn him away from Yuri too.

He had always seen it as a punishment for having asked.

 

_“You know we shouldn’t, right Yu?”_

_“Too many that have happened shouldn’t have happened. I don’t see why we should deprive ourselves of this.”_

_“Because I... I don’t...”_

_“I know you don’t love me. That’s not what I’m asking for.”_

Yuto had always thought it took great courage to go on.

And Yuri had shown him it was possible, he had shown him they could overcome everything, even though they couldn’t forget.

He had proven himself a much better person than Yuto would've ever been, and that up till the end Ryo had been right.

Chinen was strong, way more than them.

And Nakajima had held on to that strength, desperately, tooth and nail, seeking in Yuri what he didn’t have, seeking consolation when he should’ve been the one soothing him.

It took courage, and Yuri had had enough to let them both go on.

Even though Ryo’s thought kept hovering above them, even though he presence was never going to leave, they both managed to bask in each other’s presence, because they knew they were the only ones truly understanding how it felt.

Because Ryo’s death had stripped them of every reason to live, and they were slowly building new ones.

Because Yuto knew how much Yuri had loved him, and he wanted to cure him of that.

Because Yuri, after all, had always known how much Yuto had loved Ryo, and perhaps he wanted to give him the chance to live something that had always been denied to him.

They both had lost the person they loved; and they were alone, together.


End file.
